BOWLS!

On the 20th December my housemate hacked my Facebook account and wrote

"So.. I got the hair dye out and one thing lead to another.... my whole hair might be teal. Oops."
In response, for fun, I posted a photo of myself with a bowl on my head the same night.

By the 22nd many of my friends had started posting photos of themselves also with bowls on their heads, 

so I thought Id make it a competition and started a Facebook open group
"We wear bowl #mixingitup"
 www.facebook.com/groups/1444664599089006/

What happened next?
Well it got a bit out of hand.
1,102 people have become members 
and there have been 96 photos to date posted for the competition.

We have had photos from
The Netherlands, Denmark, China, USA, Canada, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Australia, France and loads from the UK.

The oldest entry is 92 years old! a lady Ive never met.
And the last entry as I type is of the Norwich City Football club mascot with a bowl on its head whilst a game is going on! 

So I guess Im extending an invitation to have some random fun with your friends and relatives this christmas.
Post a photo.
Ill pick the winner on 1st January 2014 and there is a small prize.
 
Have fun.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Fun and adventurous New Year.

ZJ
 

Pro-Vision

Over the last year God has been talking to me about how He provides all I need and challenging me to trust Him more with my finances, heart and future.

I have a tank full of petrol and am about to leave for a ministry trip to Devon and I feel like God say, “why don’t you get a car wash before you go”. Huh? The problem is I only have £5.27p in my bank account and using £4.99p doesn’t seem too sensible.

 When I was a kid, my dad would give me 10p pocket money each week, this would buy a packet of snaps crisps and polos (yes I’m that old).  He gave me pocket money to teach me how to look after money, to teach me responsibility and also to see what was valuable to me.  This pocket money wasn’t all I needed, I needed meals and love and clothes and fun, but my dad wanted me to feel like I was involved and liked watching the decisions I made.

When God says He provides all we need (Philippians 4v19), He means it.  Over the past few months Ive started trying to realise that what God gives me is my pocket money.  What I need is lot more than the wage I earn or how well I can budget or save.  I’ve found that there are always surprises I hadn’t budgeted for, the car breaks when I don’t have the cash in the bank or God says to give someone money for something they need, when it doesn’t seem sensible to give money I was going to save for something else I was planning for away.

Provision is an interesting word.  

Pro as a prefix means for or forward, vision means to see.  

Seeing forward seems ridiculous when I have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring. I can try and plan all I like but to think I can supply my own financial needs doesn’t really make sense. All I’m given really is pocket money, God is teaching me by seeing what I spend it on and how I use it and how I view the bigger picture as I learn how to believe that He really is my provider.

When the Israelites were in the dessert for 40 years, on their way to the promised land, God provided all they needed.  In some ways it was a 40 year holiday, they didn’t have to work, or cook, or grow their own food, it even says their clothes didn’t wear out. He provided all they needed.  When Caleb got to the promised land His reaction was one of faith and adventure, we can do this, our enemies are like grasshoppers to our God.  Its easy to grumble and worry when times seem lean, but I wonder if Caleb saw that God was supplying all their needs, every morning, in everyway. I have a feeling this was part of the reason He reacted with such faith, He learnt God was going to be more than enough.

If I feel God saying to give something away, it’s for my good not just the person receiving the gift.  I breaks my reliance on things and possessions and I get to share in their joy and their adventure of trusting God.

In my journal last week I wrote down things I was praying about and then started thinking about what He had provided already, the things I needed. 

I wrote:
Money, 
God said ”What do you need?, what do you want money for?”
I had a few things, like a new guitar but really I was just worried cos I don’t have much of a financial cushion to fall back on right now. He reminded me I have food in my cupboards and asked me when the last time I had gone without a meal, He reminded me that my friend had baked a carrot cake for when I visited her that morning, like He wasn’t just providing needs but treating me too.
As I counted my blessings I saw actually for all the things I wanted, He had provided already.  (I’m  not saying don’t ask for more, but having an attitude of gratitude really does help put things into perspective). 

Jesus says about worrying; don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has enough worries of its own. We really can’t see forward very far.  We really can’t provide for ourselves. 

God + Nothing = Everything.  He said to His disciples, leave your nets and follow me. Leave your way of earning your living and see what I do. 

I’m also not saying be irresponsible, its important you learn with your pocket money, I believe if we get how to use it, He will trust us with more and more and let us distribute wealth to nations.  But realising it is just pocket money helps me not worry and helps me keep my eyes on Him not my own abilities to provide.

God has forward vision. 
God sees,
He will see to it and
He will be seen in it.

Here Kitty, Kitty

"Here Kitty, Kitty"

This phrase has been buzzing round my head for a few weeks now.
So i thought Id let you in on it.

Tracy Evans in the book "Outrageous Courageous"
 www.amazon.co.uk/Outrageous-courageous-obedience-radical-faith/dp/0800795547
uses this phrase when talking about God.

In the bible God is described as being the Lion of Judah.
There are 2 ways of looking at a Lion.

Disney would have us believe that Lions are cuddly and snuggly and we can nestle in their manes.
In some ways God is like this, He is our Dad, our Father and so comfort, gentleness and affection are how He likes to be when He is around us.

If you are fortunate enough to ever watch Lions, they are like this with their own, they play and snuggle a lot.

But when you watch them in the wild, they are also ferocious.

I mean a Lions paw will rip through flesh like its butter, they are like razor blades.
A Lion will chase and hunt down its prey in order to annihilate it.
Its not chasing it for a cuddle.
Its gonna rip it to pieces.
When a Lion feeds it whole face gets covered in blood, dripping off its chin.
Sorry to be graffic, but...

When the bible says when we pray, our prayers are powerful and effective.
Thinking about the Lion of Judah has been helping me to remember who I pray to.


God is a Lion, he not only takes our prayers seriously but hunts down answers, destroys problems and rips them to pieces.

Sickness is like butter is his claws.


He is ridiculously powerful and for some mind blowing reason loves us so much He is willing to fight for us and our freedom.

Good bye Kitty, Kitty.

Thats not my Lion.

Its a new day

Just a quick update for you all.

I feel very honoured to let you all know I have a new job.
I start officially on 1st September as "Operations and Human Resource Manager" at the Kings Arms Project.
Kings Arms Project I hear you cry, isnt that where you used to work?
Strangely enough, yes it is.

This role is more of an oversight role and not only will my past experiences Managing the houses come in useful but I will learn a whole shed load about Project oversight for future adventures.

Its been a suprising year, and if you would have told me when i left that I would be rejoining the Project a year to the day later, i wouldnt have believed you.
I feel like Ive been through a corker of a year, fun, amazing experiences, trauma and back again, all this has changed me.  i feel like ive grown in a way I cant yet explain.  My heart is more alive than ever and the things Ive learnt through it all seem like they will be invaluable for the journey ahead.

Am I saying Africa and mission work is over? Not at all, but it seem very clear to me that being in England for a while is where Im meant to be for the next season.

People Id like to thank..
The Kings Arms Church Bedford, seriously one of the best churches in the world (not even exaggerating).
to those who have supported and loved me through it all, those who have skyped, been there in Zambia, England and Canada, those who have written, prayed and given financially.

THANKYOU

This is a new chapter in my crazy, adventurous, roller coaster of a life,
Lets see what Jesus does next.

Ask for more .... Beautifully real

Last weekend some of my class went to Niagara Falls.
Its the result of tonnes and tonnes of water streaming down to this one point for probably thousands of years, each year eroding and wearing down more and more rock to form what we now see as a beautiful waterfall.

I'm at the end of week one in Toronto, Canada.
I'm on a 3 week Leadership school at the Catch the Fire church.
This week we have been relearning how to hear Gods voice.

What i have discovered is that I know a lot in my brain, I know this stuff, Ive even taught on it, but over the years Ive lost some of the freshness in it.
Working hard and giving out has eroded the freshness of being able to really, from the depth of who, I am hear God.
I had gotten a little worn out.

I mean, I have heard him for what to do, or what to teach others, help others through difficult times and lead worship, but Ive spent less time listening to what He says over me.

This week I heard Him say

"ZoeJoy, I love you"

I know it in my head,
I know it a bit in my heart, but I often hear it and quickly move on as if I had heard it a thousand times and it doesn't matter so much.
This week Ive learned to stay here a bit longer and let my heart feel it more.

Why do I feel the need to write this?
In a word,

Authenticity

I know it is all too easy to live without anyone really knowing you.
I mean really know you, all of you, I know how its easy it is to live as an introverted single especially.

There is lie that we believe that says "If people really knew me they would...."
(You can fill in the blank....)
will think less of me,
stop being my friend,
think Im weird,
stop loving me

The truth is you can only love people fully when you know them fully.

When people let me in, tell me things from their vulnerable places it makes me love them more.
Do you feel that?

When others know it all, they can love you including all your weirdness, wonderfulness and junk.

Part of what makes you and me beautiful are our scars and weaknesses

How do you do that?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
Tell Him everything, even the things you feel ashamed about, look at Him in your minds eye - instead of anger - you'll find He wants to accept, love and comfort and then help you grow.
Ask God for friends you can tell things to and when you find them, make time to talk things out, chose carefully, but take a risk, there are some really good people around you.

Authenticity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone is loved and matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer

 Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.

Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen

Wow, what an amazing weekend.
I got to catch up with my friend Signe Randrup and spend some quality time with the lovely Sharon Correr.

We went on a boat tour of the sights, Nyhavn, the Queen's houses, the little Mermaid and the Opera house.

We took a couple of bike taxis including to Christiania, a hippy commune that the Danish government allows to be self governing, where soft drugs are openly sold and quality live music was playing (a brilliant band called the Boho Dancers).


On the Sunday morning we went to a church where a friend of mine is the pastor, he asked me to say a little something, so i talked about some of the healings we have been seeing and got to pray for a few people at the end.

One lady, before we asked Jesus to heal her, described her pain level as 7/10.
On Monday afternoon we got this text.

"Thankyou so much for taking the initiative to pray for my knees. Since December I have had major pains in my knees and my right one is making crunching noises when I walk down stairs. The last two or three weeks I have had hellish pain, especially with the right one, but the left has also been irritating. But yesterday the pains disappeared and today I have had none either. I thankyou but my thanks are especially towards Jesus. It's amazing to be able to leave home without supports on my knees."

Wow and Brilliant!
After this we shared our packed lunch with some homeless guys by the river.

I have decided I love Denmark.
I love the laid back quietness, I love the feeling of space - even in a busy city, I love the love of design in buildings and display of art everywhere, I love that they eat raw bacon and love fish, sausages and icecream.
I love the hunger for something real and I love that Jesus loves Denmark.

What if...

I have spent that past 2 days reading a book an old pastor friend of mine wrote about his journey from being a successful church leader to loosing that through a moral slip up and back again.

I started reading this book cos i was curious, curious to what really happened and curious to how he was doing now.

What I wasnt expecting was how much I would see myself in these pages and how challenging that would be.

My friend talks a lot about being a son, what this means, what it means to have God as your Father, like not just as a nice concept but knowing it and living like that. 

• Living like a child who says "Dad can we have fun today" and having fun all day long with him.
• Living as if "My" bank account was actually Gods and believing he has enough cash when my pocket money isnt enough or runs out.
• Living a life asking "Break my heart with what breaks yours" and loving others from that place.
• Not just doing the right thing or what is expected of me, but knowing God well enough to see and do what God is doing

I mean, knowing God like that
Knowing Him

And as I look at Him today, He is smiling and saying, "Im right here".

With fear and excitement all rolled into one,
I feel this may be an interesting summer!

The soup dragon

Since Ive been home Ive gone a little soup mad.
Its a great way of getting loads of veg in ya and tastes so so good.

So here's a recipe Ive been asked for
(please note Im no chef and cooking isnt a precise science for me!)

looks a bit funky, but tastes seriously good.

Mushroom and Spinach soup
3 punnets of mushrooms
2 finely chopped onions
1/2 a big bag fresh spinach
Thyme (about a table spoon)
butter
pint of vegetable stock

fry off the onions until nice and brown in the butter.
Add the mushrooms and thyme and slow fry till cooked.
add the spinach till nice and soft.
pop in veg stock and whizz till its mushed up.




I always make enough so i can pop a few tupperwares in the freezer too.

Enjoy.

Ask for more - Dangerously Generous

I stayed a couple of weeks with my good friends Sarah and Richard when I first got back to England.
(She blogs www.stayingawakeblog.com)
















They have 3 gorgeous kids.
Sam is 4, Rae is 3 and baby Max is a tiny bundle of scrumminess.
Watching how they work together as a family was inspirational.

There was a day when Max had been up most of the night and the other kids were down with a vomcano bug, Rich had been at work all day and Sarah was up to her eyeballs and beyond in "Mummy, Mummy".
On this day I watched in awe as I observed them taking a deep breath and putting others first. 

Why i mention them is that they are incredibly generous.

Not only did they have an extra house guest (me) when Max is just a few weeks old, but because they respond well to their kids in the middle of feeling extremely tired and stretched.

They are generous because they keep choosing to be gentle and kind.
I often think of being generous as a financial thing, but its more.

How do you become someone who keeps giving?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
many times a day,
"fill me so I can give good love away".
I don't have enough with out it, I'm just not that nice.

Generosity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It combats selfishness and helps others realise their dreams
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer.

Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.

New Music

Ok,
Ive been asked a lot since Ive been back about any new bands or music I am presently loving.

Let me recommend
Drum roll please........

Hudson Taylor - (no not the Missionary to China - its their surname)

They are some brothers from Ireland and frankly are amazing.

You can find their music on itunes.

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/artist/hudson-taylor/id303938015

Chasing Rubies is one heck of a song

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/chasing-rubies-acoustic/id578574971?i=578574975

 If anyone wants to come to gigs, I am wanting to see them live this summer somewhere.
(They have been touring with Jake Bugg this past few months.)

Also you can check them out at

www.hudsontaylormusic.com/

you will thank me.

ZJ

Fluffy Socks

The latest news is I will not be returning to Zambia at this point.
The door seems to have closed firmly shut for now, but as they say as one door closes another opens...
I have no idea what is next.


 Im gonna take some time to rest.

Im taking a trip to Denmark over the summer to collect some belongings that some dear friends will take there from Zambia and going to Toronto
for a missionary/leadership school for 3 weeks of encouragement, good time with the Father and again, rest.

Ive have moved into my friends basement (which is lovely).

Here are somethings I'm appreciating freshly this week,
I like the speed of the internet here, heaters and warm duvets, friends whom I have a long history with, English home cooked food, family, love, endless movies, clothes shops, good mushrooms and sweet cherry tomatoes, coffee shop culture, warm fluffy socks, hair straighteners, good cheese, time to be and digest the past few weeks, emails and encouragements.

Im gonna keep blogging whilst Im here too.

Here's to the omelette!!

Also a little wee thanks to Hannah Moore, also newly returned from Zambia - check out her amazing photography.  www.hannahmoore.org.uk

Omelette

... at last, I got my replacement passport from the British High Commission in Lusaka 2 weeks ago, only to be told by the Zambian Immigration office that I had been rejected for my work permit.

After a rather stressful week and interesting interactions with a immigration officer who got me the necessary paperwork to leave the country.....

Here I am sitting in my friends lounge in rainy Bedford, England, wondering how I got here and what the next few months might look like. People have been so lovely offering spare rooms galore, meals, space to be and talk and taking me shopping (I have dropped 4 dress sizes! Yeah!).
In the middle of chaos and things not being either in my control or in my plan, one can be left wondering... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!

I know it's not just me, life is all too often unpredictable and throws all sorts of challenges and things at us that we have no idea of how we are going to get through.
Nearly 2 years ago my brother came up to visit for the weekend, we went for a walk on a sunny Sunday afternoon and he sat me down on a park bench and told me he thought he may have cancer.




The next year was full of hospital waiting rooms, a very sick bro on my sofa and much hand holding as he went through chemo.

It was hard.

Without friends praying, talking and helping practically, I'm not sure how we would have coped.

The thing is we did.

He had 4th stage cancer, that's the variety you don't wanna get, it was in his neck, opposite shoulder and liver.  He now has no cancer, we believe Jesus healed him.

Having gone through that and seeing how he is really thriving in his new life up here in Bedford, (I mean the guy is really loving life), we met up this week and reflected on the past 2 years and I have to say, 

I don't know how it happened, but 

going through that unpredictable, pain filled darkness has produced so much beauty.  

 I gives me hope that even when I don't see the path ahead, I know my heavenly Dad is holding my hand and has a plan that is far better than what I could have come up with.  The trick is to keep holding on to that hand.

Just before I left Zambia I was talking to God one morning and heard Him say
"if life throws eggs at you, make an omelette"

So, here is to eating omelette for the next few months, in England.
Let the new adventures and fullness of life roll.

Whats in a word?

My friend was teaching this weekend in English, her second language and accidently said
"Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a dongle, I mean donkey".
Apart from being funny, it got me thinking about communication and words a bit.

Tim and Gemma, my fellow brits, are back and there are so many phrases i havent used for 4 months that sound funny now Im hearing them again.
Things like,

• she got herself in a real pickle - (did she? really?a jar of branston or inside a gherkin?)
•  Putting your shoes and socks on (hopefully not in that order?)
• Its my pet peeve (your pet what? i have a pet dog) 

and my favourite

• its not really my cup of tea.

Ah the joys of living in a 3 language community.

Eggs and things

"It takes different strokes to rule the world" I believe Arnold once said!

It's amazing how small things make little difference to me but mean the world in a different culture.
Here are a few from here:

It's rude not to go around and greet everyone when you enter a room with a handshake and a curtsy.

It's rude if I don't greet absolutely everyone I see (even in the distance) as I walk around the village.

Some friends were doing games with some kids and did the 'egg and spoon race' game.  When the first egg broke the kids started to really cry cos it was food. (Note to self, food is never a game here).




I got invited to a wedding at 11am, people started arriving at 2pm, it got going around 2.30-3pm.
Wedding gifts should be wrapped in a t-towel and presented in a wave type movement.

Thighs are referred to as "uncooked meat", should be covered at all times as they are private areas and should only been seen by your husband/wife. Below the knee shorts/skirts are decent.  However, a lot of cleavage is fine.

Have you ever thought why we think like we do?

Living here is opening me more in how to love better.

I want to be a loving person.
Loving someone isn't about me,
it's not really about how I want to give and receive love.
It's all about finding out how people feel loved and doing that.

Love is patient, Love is kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not proud, it isn't rude, it's not self seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

6 months in Africa

On Friday I've been here 6 months - wow! That went quickly!
How do you sum that up?

Fun, challenging, spider, healings, Kids, laughter, no money, schools, stuck in mud, secret lakes, church in the bush, photos, blogs, friends, nshima, pig for Christmas, Zimbabwe holiday, crickets, star looking, More schools, unexpected gifts, curries, nandos, singing early in the morning, no tv, smelly feet, dodgy Internet, phone calls and Skype dates, many visits and short termers, dogs, chocolate, African quest drinks, Maka-Maka, icecream, coffee, reading, paperwork, theft, bank problems, Christmas hygge meals, new year fireworks, tears, power cuts, mustaches, maggots, snakes, ridiculous jokes and shared humor, Miranda, ssssss, Gilmore girls, village walks, bikes, swims, red skin, more kids, letters from home, container clothes, $1 business plans, haircut in 7 minutes, passports and work permits, police stations, hospital visits, neck scarves, data entry, push cars, shoes, boobs, handshakes, African rain, courgettes, drive thru tomato shacks, fun afternoons, adventures, the farm, Catherine, folded underwear, red earth, potholes, chapel, homemade bread, sausages, airplanes, Jesus, curtains, sunshine, wordless communication, the rat, misunderstandings, naps, eggs, bandanas, sofa, African markets, movie nights, biscuits and Chocolate cake, frikadeller, cabbage, turmeric, sun cream, boys, candles, ants, shared fruit trees, chicken!

Wow!


What a 6 months!

Overcoming fear

Please accept my apologies for the absence of blogets in the past few weeks.
The long and short was I got a bag stolen that had my laptop, camera, passport and other bits and bobs in it, so little access to such luxuries has made blogets challenging.

But I'm back thanks to a wonderful little iPad.

This week I flew to Lusaka to get all the relevant new paperwork sorted and realized in doing so had to confront a few fears that i have lived with for years and have been until now easy to disguise.

Although I have flown all over the world I get anxious and prefer to not do it alone. I like my own company but the thought of staying in a hotel/holiday place on my own was until now something I would avoid at all costs. My biggest fear by far in all of this was eating in a restaurant on my own, the thought of it brought a minefield of paranoia and anxiety.  Whilst in the uk I had tried to make steps out of this by purposely going to costa on my own with a book, both time I tried were frankly horrible.

So what do you do. . .
I have to go, I have to get this paperwork....

Flying went very well, small plane but smooth journey this time and I even enjoyed it.
Lusaka Backpackers is a warm and social setting, made a few friends last time I was there, few anxious moments but ..... I enjoyed it.

And then the big one.
I'm sat in my room, I'm hungry, I could stay hungry or just go for it....
Half an hour later and a Nandos chicken salad later, I eat and leave, but I have this sense of crossing a line.
The next evening is my last in the capital and I dream about what I would really like to eat.... Of course,  fillet steak with mushroom sauce fills my mind.  I figure the longer I think about it, the harder it will be. Can I recommend "spurs" if you are ever in southern Africa, it's gooooood food and I enjoyed the whole experience, I sat in peace, enjoyed the atmosphere and loved people watching as I waited for my,delicious by the way, dinner. I finished and just sat, breathing it all in.

I have lived with irritating fears my whole life, some of them related to memories but some just because.
I'm on a quest to not live with them anymore . 
They stop me enjoying every moment, they hinder my love of life and I wasn't born to be held by them.

Here's to increased freedom and being able to laugh at how stupid they were after walking through them and enjoying it. 

A modern day hero

Let me introduce you to Anne-Mette Frederiksen.
She is Danish and twenty years old.
She has given up friends, family, comfort and an easy life to come and live in Zambia for the next 2 years.
For a few days a week Anne-Mette gives up the comfort of living in Kaniki to go live in the bush, I mean the bush-bush, no electricity, no fans or mosquito netted windows, cooking over a charcoal fire, miles from the nearest road, living in a mud hut, only 2 people speaking good English, you have to fetch water everyday - bush.
She has started a youth programme for the teenagers there.

Anne-Mette's hut

 One of the first things you notice about Anne-Mette is that she is humble, unassuming and loves Jesus, He is her friend, you can see Him in her smile and they way she talks about others, the way she touches an old lady’s hand as she talks with her, the way she wants to be around people just to make them happy, the way she is often the first to wash up or help with serving a meal.
She is very aware she is a 20 year old, is not a Doctor or teacher or been to university yet.

But, she is willing to give her whole self and does so - which I think can be more impacting somehow.
She reminds me of Gladys Alywood, another of my heroes.

Anne-Mette is a challenge to me, she is realistic about the challenges of bush life, her fears and apprehensions, but she is goes anyway, “because God said to go”.

She is a challenge to not let fear hold us back from living the adventure of life. 

There are many things we dream about doing but can easily talk ourselves out of. Starting our own business or taking a change in career, talking to the guy at work sitting on his own every tea break, speaking up in a group where you feel intimidated, doing something good for someone outside of your social group even tho your friends may ridicule you.

I want to always hear my heart say 
“This is scary and Im scared.........but...........lets do it anyway.”

I believe we were all born do do something amazing.