Here Kitty, Kitty

"Here Kitty, Kitty"

This phrase has been buzzing round my head for a few weeks now.
So i thought Id let you in on it.

Tracy Evans in the book "Outrageous Courageous"
 www.amazon.co.uk/Outrageous-courageous-obedience-radical-faith/dp/0800795547
uses this phrase when talking about God.

In the bible God is described as being the Lion of Judah.
There are 2 ways of looking at a Lion.

Disney would have us believe that Lions are cuddly and snuggly and we can nestle in their manes.
In some ways God is like this, He is our Dad, our Father and so comfort, gentleness and affection are how He likes to be when He is around us.

If you are fortunate enough to ever watch Lions, they are like this with their own, they play and snuggle a lot.

But when you watch them in the wild, they are also ferocious.

I mean a Lions paw will rip through flesh like its butter, they are like razor blades.
A Lion will chase and hunt down its prey in order to annihilate it.
Its not chasing it for a cuddle.
Its gonna rip it to pieces.
When a Lion feeds it whole face gets covered in blood, dripping off its chin.
Sorry to be graffic, but...

When the bible says when we pray, our prayers are powerful and effective.
Thinking about the Lion of Judah has been helping me to remember who I pray to.


God is a Lion, he not only takes our prayers seriously but hunts down answers, destroys problems and rips them to pieces.

Sickness is like butter is his claws.


He is ridiculously powerful and for some mind blowing reason loves us so much He is willing to fight for us and our freedom.

Good bye Kitty, Kitty.

Thats not my Lion.

Its a new day

Just a quick update for you all.

I feel very honoured to let you all know I have a new job.
I start officially on 1st September as "Operations and Human Resource Manager" at the Kings Arms Project.
Kings Arms Project I hear you cry, isnt that where you used to work?
Strangely enough, yes it is.

This role is more of an oversight role and not only will my past experiences Managing the houses come in useful but I will learn a whole shed load about Project oversight for future adventures.

Its been a suprising year, and if you would have told me when i left that I would be rejoining the Project a year to the day later, i wouldnt have believed you.
I feel like Ive been through a corker of a year, fun, amazing experiences, trauma and back again, all this has changed me.  i feel like ive grown in a way I cant yet explain.  My heart is more alive than ever and the things Ive learnt through it all seem like they will be invaluable for the journey ahead.

Am I saying Africa and mission work is over? Not at all, but it seem very clear to me that being in England for a while is where Im meant to be for the next season.

People Id like to thank..
The Kings Arms Church Bedford, seriously one of the best churches in the world (not even exaggerating).
to those who have supported and loved me through it all, those who have skyped, been there in Zambia, England and Canada, those who have written, prayed and given financially.

THANKYOU

This is a new chapter in my crazy, adventurous, roller coaster of a life,
Lets see what Jesus does next.

Ask for more .... Beautifully real

Last weekend some of my class went to Niagara Falls.
Its the result of tonnes and tonnes of water streaming down to this one point for probably thousands of years, each year eroding and wearing down more and more rock to form what we now see as a beautiful waterfall.

I'm at the end of week one in Toronto, Canada.
I'm on a 3 week Leadership school at the Catch the Fire church.
This week we have been relearning how to hear Gods voice.

What i have discovered is that I know a lot in my brain, I know this stuff, Ive even taught on it, but over the years Ive lost some of the freshness in it.
Working hard and giving out has eroded the freshness of being able to really, from the depth of who, I am hear God.
I had gotten a little worn out.

I mean, I have heard him for what to do, or what to teach others, help others through difficult times and lead worship, but Ive spent less time listening to what He says over me.

This week I heard Him say

"ZoeJoy, I love you"

I know it in my head,
I know it a bit in my heart, but I often hear it and quickly move on as if I had heard it a thousand times and it doesn't matter so much.
This week Ive learned to stay here a bit longer and let my heart feel it more.

Why do I feel the need to write this?
In a word,

Authenticity

I know it is all too easy to live without anyone really knowing you.
I mean really know you, all of you, I know how its easy it is to live as an introverted single especially.

There is lie that we believe that says "If people really knew me they would...."
(You can fill in the blank....)
will think less of me,
stop being my friend,
think Im weird,
stop loving me

The truth is you can only love people fully when you know them fully.

When people let me in, tell me things from their vulnerable places it makes me love them more.
Do you feel that?

When others know it all, they can love you including all your weirdness, wonderfulness and junk.

Part of what makes you and me beautiful are our scars and weaknesses

How do you do that?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
Tell Him everything, even the things you feel ashamed about, look at Him in your minds eye - instead of anger - you'll find He wants to accept, love and comfort and then help you grow.
Ask God for friends you can tell things to and when you find them, make time to talk things out, chose carefully, but take a risk, there are some really good people around you.

Authenticity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone is loved and matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer

 Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.

Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen

Wow, what an amazing weekend.
I got to catch up with my friend Signe Randrup and spend some quality time with the lovely Sharon Correr.

We went on a boat tour of the sights, Nyhavn, the Queen's houses, the little Mermaid and the Opera house.

We took a couple of bike taxis including to Christiania, a hippy commune that the Danish government allows to be self governing, where soft drugs are openly sold and quality live music was playing (a brilliant band called the Boho Dancers).


On the Sunday morning we went to a church where a friend of mine is the pastor, he asked me to say a little something, so i talked about some of the healings we have been seeing and got to pray for a few people at the end.

One lady, before we asked Jesus to heal her, described her pain level as 7/10.
On Monday afternoon we got this text.

"Thankyou so much for taking the initiative to pray for my knees. Since December I have had major pains in my knees and my right one is making crunching noises when I walk down stairs. The last two or three weeks I have had hellish pain, especially with the right one, but the left has also been irritating. But yesterday the pains disappeared and today I have had none either. I thankyou but my thanks are especially towards Jesus. It's amazing to be able to leave home without supports on my knees."

Wow and Brilliant!
After this we shared our packed lunch with some homeless guys by the river.

I have decided I love Denmark.
I love the laid back quietness, I love the feeling of space - even in a busy city, I love the love of design in buildings and display of art everywhere, I love that they eat raw bacon and love fish, sausages and icecream.
I love the hunger for something real and I love that Jesus loves Denmark.

What if...

I have spent that past 2 days reading a book an old pastor friend of mine wrote about his journey from being a successful church leader to loosing that through a moral slip up and back again.

I started reading this book cos i was curious, curious to what really happened and curious to how he was doing now.

What I wasnt expecting was how much I would see myself in these pages and how challenging that would be.

My friend talks a lot about being a son, what this means, what it means to have God as your Father, like not just as a nice concept but knowing it and living like that. 

• Living like a child who says "Dad can we have fun today" and having fun all day long with him.
• Living as if "My" bank account was actually Gods and believing he has enough cash when my pocket money isnt enough or runs out.
• Living a life asking "Break my heart with what breaks yours" and loving others from that place.
• Not just doing the right thing or what is expected of me, but knowing God well enough to see and do what God is doing

I mean, knowing God like that
Knowing Him

And as I look at Him today, He is smiling and saying, "Im right here".

With fear and excitement all rolled into one,
I feel this may be an interesting summer!

The soup dragon

Since Ive been home Ive gone a little soup mad.
Its a great way of getting loads of veg in ya and tastes so so good.

So here's a recipe Ive been asked for
(please note Im no chef and cooking isnt a precise science for me!)

looks a bit funky, but tastes seriously good.

Mushroom and Spinach soup
3 punnets of mushrooms
2 finely chopped onions
1/2 a big bag fresh spinach
Thyme (about a table spoon)
butter
pint of vegetable stock

fry off the onions until nice and brown in the butter.
Add the mushrooms and thyme and slow fry till cooked.
add the spinach till nice and soft.
pop in veg stock and whizz till its mushed up.




I always make enough so i can pop a few tupperwares in the freezer too.

Enjoy.

Ask for more - Dangerously Generous

I stayed a couple of weeks with my good friends Sarah and Richard when I first got back to England.
(She blogs www.stayingawakeblog.com)
















They have 3 gorgeous kids.
Sam is 4, Rae is 3 and baby Max is a tiny bundle of scrumminess.
Watching how they work together as a family was inspirational.

There was a day when Max had been up most of the night and the other kids were down with a vomcano bug, Rich had been at work all day and Sarah was up to her eyeballs and beyond in "Mummy, Mummy".
On this day I watched in awe as I observed them taking a deep breath and putting others first. 

Why i mention them is that they are incredibly generous.

Not only did they have an extra house guest (me) when Max is just a few weeks old, but because they respond well to their kids in the middle of feeling extremely tired and stretched.

They are generous because they keep choosing to be gentle and kind.
I often think of being generous as a financial thing, but its more.

How do you become someone who keeps giving?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
many times a day,
"fill me so I can give good love away".
I don't have enough with out it, I'm just not that nice.

Generosity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It combats selfishness and helps others realise their dreams
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer.

Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.