Sleeping rough

Last night I slept in a car park doing a sponsored sleep out to raise money for a homeless charity.
It was mostly cold and definitely uncomfortable.


In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that traumatic or difficult,
I didn't expect to sleep much, laying on cardboard for a few hours was not ideal and my legs and back ached, but i was able to go in the warm hall for a hot drink, luxury bathrooms and a sit in a comfortable chair whilst I passed a few minutes surfing the web on my smart phone.
I had the mentality of, I just need to wait it out until bacon sandwiches were served at 7am, I go home to bed and life goes on.

Two weeks ago I went with my friends Sarah and Hannah to some places people really sleep rough in Bedford.  It wasn't quite the same picture.

One place we went was a room with dirty blankets on the floor, 4 polish guys sleep there, there were beer cans and fag butts everywhere, it felt a bit like we had gone back in time, it was literally a dirty, smelly, windowless, heating-less room that they had made home with a few christmas decorations.  Outside I stood in a puddle of very strong smelling urine in what we discovered must be their bathroom area (I managed to avoid other dangers on the floor).
We also visited a place Id been before when one of our guys had died at the end of last year. A disused garage, again, beer cans, human waste, dirty bedding, a derelict and dangerous place hidden away in the centre of Bedford town.


As I lay in my steaming hot bath this afternoon I was humbled and grateful again.

The most common cause of homelessness in the UK is breakdown in relationship of family and friends, not job loss, not addiction, not physical or mental health illnessess, although these are problems that add to it.

Some of the homeless people I have met over the years used to be Bank Managers, Accountants, public school boys and girls, only 30% of the UK's homeless population were brought up in care, only 37% have no qualifications on leaving school. 

The problem is that there isn't enough love.

Last year I came home from Zambia with a suitcase and my friends and church made sure i was ok with somewhere safe and warm to live, space to talk, not talk, cry and process the trauma of leaving.

Why did I sleep rough last night?

Because everyone should be loved like this, everyone should have someone who cares, no-one should be forgotten or left behind, sleeping in a derelict room with no windows or toilet, frightened, living off soup run food and begging money, its no wonder people drink and use drugs really.



That people feel alone and unloved, that they are unseen and feel like they don't matter to anyone just isn't right.  

The King's Arms Project seeks to help homeless people back into finding their worth and place in society. KAP believe in loving people back to life both practically and in how they treat people to bring self worth and self belief.

If you'd like to sponsor me please do.

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=ZoeJoy

Freedom Comes

Well, here it is,

Ive been privileged to be part of recording the new Kings Arms Worship Ep.
It is called "Freedom Comes" and comes out on 27th February.
I got to play bass.
It sounds rather amazing and I think captures some of what we experience on a Sunday.
I heard the final mix on Saturday and came home and cried. 

Here is the promo link.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xusrOo_y69w&feature=youtu.be

Enjoy

ZJ

BOWLS!

On the 20th December my housemate hacked my Facebook account and wrote

"So.. I got the hair dye out and one thing lead to another.... my whole hair might be teal. Oops."
In response, for fun, I posted a photo of myself with a bowl on my head the same night.

By the 22nd many of my friends had started posting photos of themselves also with bowls on their heads, 

so I thought Id make it a competition and started a Facebook open group
"We wear bowl #mixingitup"
 www.facebook.com/groups/1444664599089006/

What happened next?
Well it got a bit out of hand.
1,102 people have become members 
and there have been 96 photos to date posted for the competition.

We have had photos from
The Netherlands, Denmark, China, USA, Canada, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Australia, France and loads from the UK.

The oldest entry is 92 years old! a lady Ive never met.
And the last entry as I type is of the Norwich City Football club mascot with a bowl on its head whilst a game is going on! 

So I guess Im extending an invitation to have some random fun with your friends and relatives this christmas.
Post a photo.
Ill pick the winner on 1st January 2014 and there is a small prize.
 
Have fun.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Fun and adventurous New Year.

ZJ
 

Pro-Vision

Over the last year God has been talking to me about how He provides all I need and challenging me to trust Him more with my finances, heart and future.

I have a tank full of petrol and am about to leave for a ministry trip to Devon and I feel like God say, “why don’t you get a car wash before you go”. Huh? The problem is I only have £5.27p in my bank account and using £4.99p doesn’t seem too sensible.

 When I was a kid, my dad would give me 10p pocket money each week, this would buy a packet of snaps crisps and polos (yes I’m that old).  He gave me pocket money to teach me how to look after money, to teach me responsibility and also to see what was valuable to me.  This pocket money wasn’t all I needed, I needed meals and love and clothes and fun, but my dad wanted me to feel like I was involved and liked watching the decisions I made.

When God says He provides all we need (Philippians 4v19), He means it.  Over the past few months Ive started trying to realise that what God gives me is my pocket money.  What I need is lot more than the wage I earn or how well I can budget or save.  I’ve found that there are always surprises I hadn’t budgeted for, the car breaks when I don’t have the cash in the bank or God says to give someone money for something they need, when it doesn’t seem sensible to give money I was going to save for something else I was planning for away.

Provision is an interesting word.  

Pro as a prefix means for or forward, vision means to see.  

Seeing forward seems ridiculous when I have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring. I can try and plan all I like but to think I can supply my own financial needs doesn’t really make sense. All I’m given really is pocket money, God is teaching me by seeing what I spend it on and how I use it and how I view the bigger picture as I learn how to believe that He really is my provider.

When the Israelites were in the dessert for 40 years, on their way to the promised land, God provided all they needed.  In some ways it was a 40 year holiday, they didn’t have to work, or cook, or grow their own food, it even says their clothes didn’t wear out. He provided all they needed.  When Caleb got to the promised land His reaction was one of faith and adventure, we can do this, our enemies are like grasshoppers to our God.  Its easy to grumble and worry when times seem lean, but I wonder if Caleb saw that God was supplying all their needs, every morning, in everyway. I have a feeling this was part of the reason He reacted with such faith, He learnt God was going to be more than enough.

If I feel God saying to give something away, it’s for my good not just the person receiving the gift.  I breaks my reliance on things and possessions and I get to share in their joy and their adventure of trusting God.

In my journal last week I wrote down things I was praying about and then started thinking about what He had provided already, the things I needed. 

I wrote:
Money, 
God said ”What do you need?, what do you want money for?”
I had a few things, like a new guitar but really I was just worried cos I don’t have much of a financial cushion to fall back on right now. He reminded me I have food in my cupboards and asked me when the last time I had gone without a meal, He reminded me that my friend had baked a carrot cake for when I visited her that morning, like He wasn’t just providing needs but treating me too.
As I counted my blessings I saw actually for all the things I wanted, He had provided already.  (I’m  not saying don’t ask for more, but having an attitude of gratitude really does help put things into perspective). 

Jesus says about worrying; don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has enough worries of its own. We really can’t see forward very far.  We really can’t provide for ourselves. 

God + Nothing = Everything.  He said to His disciples, leave your nets and follow me. Leave your way of earning your living and see what I do. 

I’m also not saying be irresponsible, its important you learn with your pocket money, I believe if we get how to use it, He will trust us with more and more and let us distribute wealth to nations.  But realising it is just pocket money helps me not worry and helps me keep my eyes on Him not my own abilities to provide.

God has forward vision. 
God sees,
He will see to it and
He will be seen in it.

Here Kitty, Kitty

"Here Kitty, Kitty"

This phrase has been buzzing round my head for a few weeks now.
So i thought Id let you in on it.

Tracy Evans in the book "Outrageous Courageous"
 www.amazon.co.uk/Outrageous-courageous-obedience-radical-faith/dp/0800795547
uses this phrase when talking about God.

In the bible God is described as being the Lion of Judah.
There are 2 ways of looking at a Lion.

Disney would have us believe that Lions are cuddly and snuggly and we can nestle in their manes.
In some ways God is like this, He is our Dad, our Father and so comfort, gentleness and affection are how He likes to be when He is around us.

If you are fortunate enough to ever watch Lions, they are like this with their own, they play and snuggle a lot.

But when you watch them in the wild, they are also ferocious.

I mean a Lions paw will rip through flesh like its butter, they are like razor blades.
A Lion will chase and hunt down its prey in order to annihilate it.
Its not chasing it for a cuddle.
Its gonna rip it to pieces.
When a Lion feeds it whole face gets covered in blood, dripping off its chin.
Sorry to be graffic, but...

When the bible says when we pray, our prayers are powerful and effective.
Thinking about the Lion of Judah has been helping me to remember who I pray to.


God is a Lion, he not only takes our prayers seriously but hunts down answers, destroys problems and rips them to pieces.

Sickness is like butter is his claws.


He is ridiculously powerful and for some mind blowing reason loves us so much He is willing to fight for us and our freedom.

Good bye Kitty, Kitty.

Thats not my Lion.

Its a new day

Just a quick update for you all.

I feel very honoured to let you all know I have a new job.
I start officially on 1st September as "Operations and Human Resource Manager" at the Kings Arms Project.
Kings Arms Project I hear you cry, isnt that where you used to work?
Strangely enough, yes it is.

This role is more of an oversight role and not only will my past experiences Managing the houses come in useful but I will learn a whole shed load about Project oversight for future adventures.

Its been a suprising year, and if you would have told me when i left that I would be rejoining the Project a year to the day later, i wouldnt have believed you.
I feel like Ive been through a corker of a year, fun, amazing experiences, trauma and back again, all this has changed me.  i feel like ive grown in a way I cant yet explain.  My heart is more alive than ever and the things Ive learnt through it all seem like they will be invaluable for the journey ahead.

Am I saying Africa and mission work is over? Not at all, but it seem very clear to me that being in England for a while is where Im meant to be for the next season.

People Id like to thank..
The Kings Arms Church Bedford, seriously one of the best churches in the world (not even exaggerating).
to those who have supported and loved me through it all, those who have skyped, been there in Zambia, England and Canada, those who have written, prayed and given financially.

THANKYOU

This is a new chapter in my crazy, adventurous, roller coaster of a life,
Lets see what Jesus does next.

Ask for more .... Beautifully real

Last weekend some of my class went to Niagara Falls.
Its the result of tonnes and tonnes of water streaming down to this one point for probably thousands of years, each year eroding and wearing down more and more rock to form what we now see as a beautiful waterfall.

I'm at the end of week one in Toronto, Canada.
I'm on a 3 week Leadership school at the Catch the Fire church.
This week we have been relearning how to hear Gods voice.

What i have discovered is that I know a lot in my brain, I know this stuff, Ive even taught on it, but over the years Ive lost some of the freshness in it.
Working hard and giving out has eroded the freshness of being able to really, from the depth of who, I am hear God.
I had gotten a little worn out.

I mean, I have heard him for what to do, or what to teach others, help others through difficult times and lead worship, but Ive spent less time listening to what He says over me.

This week I heard Him say

"ZoeJoy, I love you"

I know it in my head,
I know it a bit in my heart, but I often hear it and quickly move on as if I had heard it a thousand times and it doesn't matter so much.
This week Ive learned to stay here a bit longer and let my heart feel it more.

Why do I feel the need to write this?
In a word,

Authenticity

I know it is all too easy to live without anyone really knowing you.
I mean really know you, all of you, I know how its easy it is to live as an introverted single especially.

There is lie that we believe that says "If people really knew me they would...."
(You can fill in the blank....)
will think less of me,
stop being my friend,
think Im weird,
stop loving me

The truth is you can only love people fully when you know them fully.

When people let me in, tell me things from their vulnerable places it makes me love them more.
Do you feel that?

When others know it all, they can love you including all your weirdness, wonderfulness and junk.

Part of what makes you and me beautiful are our scars and weaknesses

How do you do that?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
Tell Him everything, even the things you feel ashamed about, look at Him in your minds eye - instead of anger - you'll find He wants to accept, love and comfort and then help you grow.
Ask God for friends you can tell things to and when you find them, make time to talk things out, chose carefully, but take a risk, there are some really good people around you.

Authenticity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone is loved and matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer

 Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.