Its a new day

Just a quick update for you all.

I feel very honoured to let you all know I have a new job.
I start officially on 1st September as "Operations and Human Resource Manager" at the Kings Arms Project.
Kings Arms Project I hear you cry, isnt that where you used to work?
Strangely enough, yes it is.

This role is more of an oversight role and not only will my past experiences Managing the houses come in useful but I will learn a whole shed load about Project oversight for future adventures.

Its been a suprising year, and if you would have told me when i left that I would be rejoining the Project a year to the day later, i wouldnt have believed you.
I feel like Ive been through a corker of a year, fun, amazing experiences, trauma and back again, all this has changed me.  i feel like ive grown in a way I cant yet explain.  My heart is more alive than ever and the things Ive learnt through it all seem like they will be invaluable for the journey ahead.

Am I saying Africa and mission work is over? Not at all, but it seem very clear to me that being in England for a while is where Im meant to be for the next season.

People Id like to thank..
The Kings Arms Church Bedford, seriously one of the best churches in the world (not even exaggerating).
to those who have supported and loved me through it all, those who have skyped, been there in Zambia, England and Canada, those who have written, prayed and given financially.

THANKYOU

This is a new chapter in my crazy, adventurous, roller coaster of a life,
Lets see what Jesus does next.

Ask for more .... Beautifully real

Last weekend some of my class went to Niagara Falls.
Its the result of tonnes and tonnes of water streaming down to this one point for probably thousands of years, each year eroding and wearing down more and more rock to form what we now see as a beautiful waterfall.

I'm at the end of week one in Toronto, Canada.
I'm on a 3 week Leadership school at the Catch the Fire church.
This week we have been relearning how to hear Gods voice.

What i have discovered is that I know a lot in my brain, I know this stuff, Ive even taught on it, but over the years Ive lost some of the freshness in it.
Working hard and giving out has eroded the freshness of being able to really, from the depth of who, I am hear God.
I had gotten a little worn out.

I mean, I have heard him for what to do, or what to teach others, help others through difficult times and lead worship, but Ive spent less time listening to what He says over me.

This week I heard Him say

"ZoeJoy, I love you"

I know it in my head,
I know it a bit in my heart, but I often hear it and quickly move on as if I had heard it a thousand times and it doesn't matter so much.
This week Ive learned to stay here a bit longer and let my heart feel it more.

Why do I feel the need to write this?
In a word,

Authenticity

I know it is all too easy to live without anyone really knowing you.
I mean really know you, all of you, I know how its easy it is to live as an introverted single especially.

There is lie that we believe that says "If people really knew me they would...."
(You can fill in the blank....)
will think less of me,
stop being my friend,
think Im weird,
stop loving me

The truth is you can only love people fully when you know them fully.

When people let me in, tell me things from their vulnerable places it makes me love them more.
Do you feel that?

When others know it all, they can love you including all your weirdness, wonderfulness and junk.

Part of what makes you and me beautiful are our scars and weaknesses

How do you do that?
The only way I know to do this is:
Ask God to love you first,
Tell Him everything, even the things you feel ashamed about, look at Him in your minds eye - instead of anger - you'll find He wants to accept, love and comfort and then help you grow.
Ask God for friends you can tell things to and when you find them, make time to talk things out, chose carefully, but take a risk, there are some really good people around you.

Authenticity is a weapon.

• It destroys loneliness and builds community
• It fights individualism and builds a culture where everyone is loved and matters
• It smashes through self-pity and makes you and others happy
• It confronts self reliance & helps you realise that others genuinely love you
• It feeds the hungry, clothes the stranger and homes the wanderer

 Ask Him, He is generous and has plenty more to give you.