I have a tank full of petrol and am about to leave for a ministry trip to Devon and I feel like God say, “why don’t you get a car wash before you go”. Huh? The problem is I only have £5.27p in my bank account and using £4.99p doesn’t seem too sensible.
When I was a kid, my dad would give me 10p pocket money each week, this would buy a packet of snaps crisps and polos (yes I’m that old). He gave me pocket money to teach me how to look after money, to teach me responsibility and also to see what was valuable to me. This pocket money wasn’t all I needed, I needed meals and love and clothes and fun, but my dad wanted me to feel like I was involved and liked watching the decisions I made.
When God says He provides all we need (Philippians 4v19), He means it. Over the past few months Ive started trying to realise that what God gives me is my pocket money. What I need is lot more than the wage I earn or how well I can budget or save. I’ve found that there are always surprises I hadn’t budgeted for, the car breaks when I don’t have the cash in the bank or God says to give someone money for something they need, when it doesn’t seem sensible to give money I was going to save for something else I was planning for away.
Provision is an interesting word.
Pro as a prefix means for or forward, vision means to see.
Seeing forward seems ridiculous when I have no way of knowing what tomorrow will bring. I can try and plan all I like but to think I can supply my own financial needs doesn’t really make sense. All I’m given really is pocket money, God is teaching me by seeing what I spend it on and how I use it and how I view the bigger picture as I learn how to believe that He really is my provider.
When the Israelites were in the dessert for 40 years, on their way to the promised land, God provided all they needed. In some ways it was a 40 year holiday, they didn’t have to work, or cook, or grow their own food, it even says their clothes didn’t wear out. He provided all they needed. When Caleb got to the promised land His reaction was one of faith and adventure, we can do this, our enemies are like grasshoppers to our God. Its easy to grumble and worry when times seem lean, but I wonder if Caleb saw that God was supplying all their needs, every morning, in everyway. I have a feeling this was part of the reason He reacted with such faith, He learnt God was going to be more than enough.
If I feel God saying to give something away, it’s for my good not just the person receiving the gift. I breaks my reliance on things and possessions and I get to share in their joy and their adventure of trusting God.
In my journal last week I wrote down things I was praying about and then started thinking about what He had provided already, the things I needed.
I wrote:
Money,
God said ”What do you need?, what do you want money for?”
I had a few things, like a new guitar but really I was just worried cos I don’t have much of a financial cushion to fall back on right now. He reminded me I have food in my cupboards and asked me when the last time I had gone without a meal, He reminded me that my friend had baked a carrot cake for when I visited her that morning, like He wasn’t just providing needs but treating me too.
As I counted my blessings I saw actually for all the things I wanted, He had provided already. (I’m not saying don’t ask for more, but having an attitude of gratitude really does help put things into perspective).
Jesus says about
worrying; don’t worry about tomorrow because tomorrow has enough worries
of its own. We really can’t see forward very far. We really can’t
provide for ourselves.
God + Nothing = Everything. He said to His
disciples, leave your nets and follow me. Leave your way of earning your
living and see what I do.
I’m also not saying be irresponsible, its important you learn with your pocket money, I believe if we get how to use it, He will trust us with more and more and let us distribute wealth to nations. But realising it is just pocket money helps me not worry and helps me keep my eyes on Him not my own abilities to provide.
God has forward vision.
God sees,
He will see to it and
He will be seen in it.
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